On August 15, 2009 I lost my rock, the center of my world, my father, Peter M. Fanelli Jr. He got sick, was in the hosiptial 3 weeks, and passed away. When he died my whole world collapsed around me. I miss him more than anything in the world. I am learning, just as my family is, to live without him. When he died so too did all the dreams we had for him in our lives. Everything I do I do in his memory. This is my favorite picture of us.
When ever I feel overwelmed by sadness, (which is often) I set up my sewing machines and get to work. It is what helps me to get past the sadness. I think this is what has helped me to get through the hard days. The sadness comes and goes. Sometimes it is just too much to believe. This picture to the left was taken about one week before Daddy went into the hospital. It's so hard to believe because he looks so healthy here. We really thought we would be bringing him home and that he would get better. I guess it was just his time, but that is so hard to believe. He was only 54 when he died. We all believed he would go out at 90 in a blaze of glory on his harley. I keep many pictures of him around my home, they bring me comfort. But sometimes I just see a picture of him and I get so upset. I still cannot believe that he is gone. Daddy didn't live to see any of his grandchildren but this is him holding his grandnephew, Timothy. Timothy is named after his brother-in-law and is his neice Connie's son. He is the first boy on Daddy's side since him!!! He would get such a kick out of him if he got to watch him grow up. He has missed so much already. Its crazy to think what else he will miss in the future.
This is a picture of my sister Diana and my dads puppy Akema. It was taken around the time that he passed away. My sisters wanted to bring Daddy new pictures to the hospital to help life his spirits. It wasn't until we developed these pictures that we noticed something truly special. It is difficult to see here but if you look just to the right of my sister near the chair at the head of the table. This is an orb that has appeared in our pictures, on several different cameras, since my father passed away. Now I know you cannot really see it here but we had the image enlarged. In the enlarged version of the picture (shown below) we were absolutly shocked by what we saw.
Now I know it is a bit fuzzy and before you look at it please look back at the pictures of my Daddy. If you look really hard, right in the center, you can see my Dad's face, looking back at you. The person who enlarged the photo insisted that to his right there is also a woman in the orb. She insisted that this was the Virgin Mary. Now, we are not a religious family BUT my father died on August 15, which is the Feast of the Assumption. This is the day that Mary was "assumed" into heaven. Because she was so pure she did not have to await judgement. Catholics believe that if you die on that day that you do not suffer death and that Mary takes you directly to heaven. Daddy was never really good at waiting in line. I know that he is always with us, I just wish we had more warning. I feel like there is so much I want to talk to him about. I hope that we can have happy days again.
